It's a really big decision

This isn't something you can decide over coffee with a friend

You know how you go back and forth in your mind. "Stay? Go? Oh, I'll think about it later... "

So much to think about and to think through, and I know you don't want to get it wrong. That's what can keep you stuck.

Other people can't really know what's going on inside your relationship at home. They can want the best for you, or they can blame you or shame you. So, they're really not reliable help.

Only YOU know. And this course will guide you to think about all the right things.

Have you taken my course "Is it Emotional Abuse?". Are you clear about what you're experiencing in your relationship, or what you may have experienced growing up?

You have stayed this long. There must be a reason - or many of them. And those have validity and require examination. But, it may be too long.

Knowing HOW to examine them, objectively, and thoroughly, may not be as obvious. It helps to have a guide to keep you on track.

This course will be that guide.

It will stimulate your thinking and give you confidence to take healthy steps... and move forward, wisely.

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

I'll walk with you...

I help the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call Hijackals® to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. I created the term so we'd have a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of relentlessly difficult people without psychological labels. I define Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”


Because I've been there, too. I had a Hijackal mother and a passive-aggressive father. As happens for most people who start that way, I became a Hijackal magnet. Oh, the pain, disappointment and... learning!!! Love-bombed by men who turned out to be looking for control, bosses who thought they could manipulate and manage in damaging ways, and even friends willing to take advantage, I have experienced them all. Not good.

Through all that learning, I found a path that allowed me to reclaim my power from people like that; to see them from a distance before becoming engaged with them. It was a long road, and a lot of people... but what I learned, and the strategies I developed for myself, have kept me sane, safe and sure it won't happen again!

The upside of coming from Hijackals was that I was driven to get away and to understand. Trained as a psychologist and mediator, I turned my attention to figuring out why there had been no help when I needed it, and what that help could have looked like to be effective. Understanding the sneaky nature of emotional abuse led me to a Ph.D. and ongoing work and research into the ways that emotional trauma impacts both the Hijackal and their prey.

I made it my mission to help people recognize the signs of emotional abuse, realize the impact on their lives, and have the paths to recovery. I share that with clients and members worldwide.

Through my Emerging Empowered consultations, courses, and community I've created a safe place for you to be understood; to recognize what's happened and happening in your relationship(s); and to gain the insights, skills, strategies, and support to move forward in healthier ways, reclaiming your personal power.

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

Relationship Crisis Consultant

This independent course is for you.

If you're not ready to work in a group,

We offer an Empowerment Group with this course, if you are seeking camaraderie and folks to talk with.

If you just want to work through the process on your own for now, you can access just the self-study workbook, and then join the group later if you wish.

This course includes a coupon for $47 off the Empowerment group, if you decide to do that.

Extra Resources

Along with the Reflection workbook, this course includes

  • Relevant Videos

    A curated collection of videos that will support your decision-making process...

  • Audio

    Dr. Shaler's podcast episodes that relate to this process.

  • eBook and more

    Other tools and interactive resources to help you clarify your thinking and make the best decision you can.