This isn't something you can decide over coffee with a friend
You know how you go back and forth in your mind. "Stay? Go? Oh, I'll think about it later... "
So much to think about and to think through, and I know you don't want to get it wrong. That's what can keep you stuck.
Other people can't really know what's going on inside your relationship at home. They can want the best for you, or they can blame you or shame you. So, they're really not reliable help.
Have you taken my course "Is it Emotional Abuse?". Are you clear about what you're experiencing in your relationship, or what you may have experienced growing up?
You have stayed this long. There must be a reason - or many of them. And those have validity and require examination. But, it may be too long.
Knowing HOW to examine them, objectively, and thoroughly, may not be as obvious. It helps to have a guide to keep you on track.
It will stimulate your thinking and give you confidence to take healthy steps... and move forward, wisely.
I'll walk with you...
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler was a champion for the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she called Hijackals®—to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She created the term so we'd have a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of relentlessly difficult people without psychological labels. She defined Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”
Why?
Because she had been there, too. Dr. Shaler had a Hijackal mother and a passive-aggressive father. As happens for most people who start that way, she became a Hijackal magnet. Oh, the pain, disappointment and... learning!!! Love-bombed by men who turned out to be looking for control, bosses who thought they could manipulate and manage in damaging ways, and even friends willing to take advantage, she experienced them all. Not good.
Through all that learning, she found a path that allowed her to reclaim her power from people like that; to see them from a distance before becoming engaged with them. It was a long road, and a lot of people... but what she learned, and the strategies she developed for herself, kept her sane, safe and sure it wouldn't happen again!
The upside of coming from Hijackals was that she was driven to get away and to understand. Trained as a psychologist and mediator, Dr. Shaler turned her attention to figuring out why there had been no help when she needed it, and what that help could have looked like to be effective. Understanding the sneaky nature of emotional abuse led her to a Ph.D. and ongoing work and research into the ways that emotional trauma impacts both the Hijackal and their prey.
Rhoberta made it her mission to help people recognize the signs of emotional abuse, realize the impact on their lives, and have the paths to recovery. She shared that with clients and members worldwide. Dr. Shaler left this mortal plane in April 2024, knowing she had fulfilled her mission, and now, we continue to spread her mission.
This course catalogue was started by Dr. Shaler and continues to be available as a legacy of learning, managed and maintained by her daughter and career-long business manager, Kera.
If you're not ready to work in a group,
We offer an Empowerment Group with this course, if you are seeking camaraderie and folks to talk with.
If you just want to work through the process on your own for now, you can access just the self-study workbook, and then join the group later if you wish.
This course includes a coupon for $47 off the Empowerment group, if you decide to do that.
