Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
I'll walk with you...
I help the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call Hijackals® to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. I created the term so we'd have a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of relentlessly difficult people without psychological labels. I define Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”
Because I've been there, too. I had a Hijackal mother and a passive-aggressive father. As happens for most people who start that way, I became a Hijackal magnet. Oh, the pain, disappointment and... learning!!! Love-bombed by men who turned out to be looking for control, bosses who thought they could manipulate and manage in damaging ways, and even friends willing to take advantage, I have experienced them all. Not good.
Through all that learning, I found a path that allowed me to reclaim my power from people like that; to see them from a distance before becoming engaged with them. It was a long road, and a lot of people... but what I learned, and the strategies I developed for myself, have kept me sane, safe and sure it won't happen again!
The upside of coming from Hijackals was that I was driven to get away and to understand. Trained as a psychologist and mediator, I turned my attention to figuring out why there had been no help when I needed it, and what that help could have looked like to be effective. Understanding the sneaky nature of emotional abuse led me to a Ph.D. and ongoing work and research into the ways that emotional trauma impacts both the Hijackal and their prey.
I made it my mission to help people recognize the signs of emotional abuse, realize the impact on their lives, and have the paths to recovery. I share that with clients and members worldwide.
Through my Emerging Empowered consultations, courses, and community I've created a safe place for you to be understood; to recognize what's happened and happening in your relationship(s); and to gain the insights, skills, strategies, and support to move forward in healthier ways, reclaiming your personal power.