Seeing The Cycles
The Screaming & Subtle Signs of Toxic Relationships
Hijackal : noun - hīˈjak(ə)l/ - a person who hijacks relationships for his/her own purposes. Then, relentlessly scavenges the relationship for power, status, and control.
This is your best next step towards stopping the crazy-making and saving your sanity when you have a Hijackal® in your life.
Clearly recognizing the crazy-making behaviors, patterns & cycles of Hijackals will save you from a lot of stress, pain and hurt.
Whether the Hijackal is your partner, ex, parent, friend, or co-worker, uncovering the traits, patterns, and cycles of Hijackals is essential to putting your finger on exactly WHY they are crazy-making.
That's not always easy to do because you have been worn and torn down, and maybe, are holding on by a thread. I want to help you see what's actually going on.
I'm Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. I created the term "Hijackal" to describe those relentlessly difficult, crazy-making people in life.
What's really required is to not only see their traits, patterns, and cycles, but to realize that you are participating, condoning, and enabling those in some ways. And, I know you want to stop! It's too hard. It's too frustrating. It's too exhausting. It's too confusing, chaotic, and uncertain.
You'll recognize that all that the Hijackal has blamed you for IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Understanding that down to your toes is a such a relief...and, you know you need relief!
So, let's go!
Get valuable perspectives that are hard to see when you're emotionally exhausted and feeling abused.
You'll clearly know:
You're not wrong, bad, foolish, lazy, or crazy. You're caught in the Hijackal Trap.
What you'll receive:
Get access to the Seeing the Cycles right now. Get clarity. Start feeling stronger. You're not alone.
I help the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people I call Hijackals® to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. I created the term so we'd have a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of relentlessly difficult people without psychological labels. I define Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”
Because I've been there, too. I had a Hijackal mother and a passive-aggressive father. As happens for most people who start that way, I became a Hijackal magnet. Oh, the pain, disappointment and... learning!!! Love-bombed by men who turned out to be looking for control, bosses who thought they could manipulate and manage in damaging ways, and even friends willing to take advantage, I have experienced them all. Not good.
Through all that learning, I found a path that allowed me to reclaim my power from people like that; to see them from a distance before becoming engaged with them. It was a long road, and a lot of people... but what I learned, and the strategies I developed for myself, have kept me sane, safe and sure it won't happen again!
The upside of coming from Hijackals was that I was driven to get away and to understand. Trained as a psychologist and mediator, I turned my attention to figuring out why there had been no help when I needed it, and what that help could have looked like to be effective. Understanding the sneaky nature of emotional abuse led me to a Ph.D. and ongoing work and research into the ways that emotional trauma impacts both the Hijackal and their prey.
I made it my mission to help people recognize the signs of emotional abuse, realize the impact on their lives, and have the paths to recovery. I share that with clients and members worldwide.
Through my Emerging Empowered consultations, courses, and community I've created a safe place for you to be understood; to recognize what's happened and happening in your relationship(s); and to gain the insights, skills, strategies, and support to move forward in healthier ways, reclaiming your personal power.
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler
Relationship Crisis Consultant
Starting Quiz: Are These Things Happening in Your Relationship? Could Be Hijackals!
Are You Being Verbally Abused?
HIJACKALS HAVE TO WIN
The NEED to Win Video
Self-Study Personal Reflections on The Need to Win
OUT OF PROPORTION, MIS-MANAGED EMOTIONS
VIDEO - Hallmarks of Hijackals - Out of Proportion, Mismanaged Emotions
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Out-of-Proportion Emotions
ALL-OR-NOTHING, BLACK-AND-WHITE THINKING
VIDEO - All or Nothing Thinking
Self-Study Personal Reflections on All-or-Nothing Thinking
BLAMING YOU FOR EVERYTHING
VIDEO - Blaming & Guilt
My Partner Always Blames Me for Everything. What Do I Do?
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Blame and Guilt
ALWAYS FINDING FAULT WITH YOU
VIDEO- Fault Finding
The Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Fault-Finding
HIJACKALS HAVE A MISSING PIECE
VIDEO - Lack of Empathy
TAKING NO RESPONSIBILITY OR ACCOUNTABILITY
VIDEO - Takes No Responsibility
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Taking No Responsibility
VIEWING EVERYTHING FROM A NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE
VIDEO - Usually Negative
7 Warning Signs & Wake-Up Calls that Your Partner is MORE than Selfish
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Negative Mindsets
KEEPING THINGS VAGUE, UNCERTAIN & CHAOTIC
VIDEO - Ambiguity
If You Have "Boundaryitis," You May Feel Like A Doormat.
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Ambiguity and Uncertainty
INCREDULITY: WHAT THEY SAY OR DO IS SO OUTRAGEOUS
VIDEO - Incredulity
Self-Study Personal Reflections on Incredulity
Are You Living With A High-Conflict Person, a HIjackal®?
BEST NEXT STEPS...