Understand How Hijackals "work"

Course Description

Hijackal : noun - hīˈjak(ə)l/ - a person who hijacks relationships for his/her own purposes. Then, relentlessly scavenges the relationship for power, status, and control.

This is your best next step towards stopping the crazy-making and saving your sanity when you have a Hijackal® in your life.

Clearly recognizing the crazy-making  behaviors, patterns & cycles of Hijackals  will save you from a lot of stress, pain and hurt.

Whether the Hijackal is your partner, ex, parent, friend, or co-worker, uncovering the traits, patterns, and cycles of Hijackals is essential to putting your finger on exactly WHY they are crazy-making.

That's not always easy to do because you have been worn and torn down, and maybe, are holding on by a thread. I want to help you see what's actually going on.

I'm Dr. Rhoberta Shaler. I created the term "Hijackal" to describe those relentlessly difficult, crazy-making people in life.

Start with this program to really understand the what's, why's, and wherefore's of what is actually happening in this destructive cycle.

What's really required is to not only see their traits, patterns, and cycles, but to realize that you are participating, condoning, and enabling those in some ways. And, I know you want to stop! It's too hard. It's too frustrating. It's too exhausting. It's too confusing, chaotic, and uncertain.

You'll recognize that all that the Hijackal has blamed you for IS NOT YOUR FAULT! Understanding that down to your toes is a such a relief...and, you know you need relief!

So, let's go!

You need to be Seeing The Cycles! 

 

Get valuable perspectives that are hard to see when you're emotionally exhausted and feeling abused.


This self-study program provides clarity, hope and relief.

You'll clearly know:

  •  Why it's not your behavior that's crazy-making
  • You're not wrong
  • Everything is NOT your fault
  • Why you want to believe you can fix the Hijackal
  • Why you cannot fix the Hijackal
  • Why things are highly unlikely to ever change


You're not wrong, bad, foolish, lazy, or crazy. You're caught in the Hijackal Trap.  


What you'll receive: 

  • Valuable insights that will help you right away 
  • Relief from the cycles of crazy-making. 
  • Insights to save your sanity. 
  • Clarity to stop doubting yourself.
 

YOU MATTER! 
Get access to the Seeing the Cycles right now. Get clarity. Start feeling stronger. You're not alone. 

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler was a champion for the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she called Hijackals®—to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She created the term so we'd have a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of relentlessly difficult people without psychological labels. She defined Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”

Why?

Because she had been there, too. Dr. Shaler had a Hijackal mother and a passive-aggressive father. As happens for most people who start that way, she became a Hijackal magnet. Oh, the pain, disappointment and... learning!!! Love-bombed by men who turned out to be looking for control, bosses who thought they could manipulate and manage in damaging ways, and even friends willing to take advantage, she experienced them all. Not good.

Through all that learning, she found a path that allowed her to reclaim her power from people like that; to see them from a distance before becoming engaged with them. It was a long road, and a lot of people... but what she learned, and the strategies she developed for herself, kept her sane, safe and sure it wouldn't happen again!

The upside of coming from Hijackals was that she was driven to get away and to understand. Trained as a psychologist and mediator, Dr. Shaler turned her attention to figuring out why there had been no help when she needed it, and what that help could have looked like to be effective. Understanding the sneaky nature of emotional abuse led her to a Ph.D. and ongoing work and research into the ways that emotional trauma impacts both the Hijackal and their prey.

Rhoberta made it her mission to help people recognize the signs of emotional abuse, realize the impact on their lives, and have the paths to recovery. She shared that with clients and members worldwide. Dr. Shaler left this mortal plane in April 2024, knowing she had fulfilled her mission, and now, we continue to spread her mission.

This course catalogue was started by Dr. Shaler and continues to be available as a legacy of learning, managed and maintained by her daughter and career-long business manager, Kera.

Dr. Rhoberta Shaler

(1945-2024)

Course curriculum

  1. 01

    • Starting Quiz: Are These Things Happening in Your Relationship? Could Be Hijackals!

    • Are You Being Verbally Abused?

  2. 02

    • HIJACKALS HAVE TO WIN

    • The NEED to Win Video

    • Video Transcript

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on The Need to Win
  3. 03

    • OUT OF PROPORTION, MIS-MANAGED EMOTIONS

    • VIDEO - Hallmarks of Hijackals - Out of Proportion, Mismanaged Emotions

    • Video Transcript:

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Out-of-Proportion Emotions

  4. 04

    • ALL-OR-NOTHING, BLACK-AND-WHITE THINKING

    • VIDEO - All or Nothing Thinking

    • Video Transcript:

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on All-or-Nothing Thinking
  5. 05

    • BLAMING YOU FOR EVERYTHING

    • VIDEO - Blaming & Guilt

    • Video Transcript

    • My Partner Always Blames Me for Everything. What Do I Do?

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Blame and Guilt
  6. 06

    • ALWAYS FINDING FAULT WITH YOU

    • VIDEO- Fault Finding

    • Video Transcript

    • The Boomerang of Blame: Why Difficult People Make It All Your Fault

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Fault-Finding
  7. 07

    • HIJACKALS HAVE A MISSING PIECE

    • VIDEO - Lack of Empathy

    • Video Transcript
  8. 08

    • TAKING NO RESPONSIBILITY OR ACCOUNTABILITY

    • VIDEO - Takes No Responsibility

    • Video Transcript

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Taking No Responsibility
  9. 09

    • VIEWING EVERYTHING FROM A NEGATIVE PERSPECTIVE

    • VIDEO - Usually Negative

    • Video Transcript

    • 7 Warning Signs & Wake-Up Calls that Your Partner is MORE than Selfish

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Negative Mindsets
  10. 10

    • KEEPING THINGS VAGUE, UNCERTAIN & CHAOTIC

    • VIDEO - Ambiguity

    • Video Transcript

    • If You Have "Boundaryitis," You May Feel Like A Doormat.

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Ambiguity and Uncertainty

  11. 11

    • INCREDULITY: WHAT THEY SAY OR DO IS SO OUTRAGEOUS

    • VIDEO - Incredulity

    • Video Transcript

    • Self-Study Personal Reflections on Incredulity
  12. 12

    • Are You Living With A High-Conflict Person, a HIjackal®?

    • BEST NEXT STEPS...

Pro tip: Become a member of our Emerging Empowered Community and receive 20% off ALL our courses!

  • Emerging Empowered Community (Membership)

    All Courses

    Dr. Rhoberta Shaler created this safe place of support for you, away from social media, so you can feel secure. Share your journey. Ask your questions. Learn, grow, and heal.

    View Course
View more programs with Dr. Shaler