Is it Emotional Abuse? [Self-Study Course]
A self-study course from Dr. Rhoberta Shaler, to help you recognize and understand behavior and words that truly cause damage.
What's really going on?
Second-guessing yourself? Questioning your sanity?
Is it ongoing & long-term?
Understanding what's emotional abuse—and what isn't— is the starting place.
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Wondering if it IS emotional abuse, or if you're making mountains out of molehills? (A Hijackal will always tell you you're too sensitive.)
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Experiencing moments—or longer—of wondering if you're actually "crazy" like they're telling you?
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Walking on eggshells at home, afraid to say or do the wrong thing, or get into any sort of conflict?
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Finding yourself frequently excusing bad behavior?
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Feeling worn down, torn down, or put down... emotionally exhausted?
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Something negative keeps happening in your life - people treat you poorly, you feel anxious before family gatherings, you're working late more and more because it's better than going home?
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Feeling resentful, anxious, angry and/or unsafe?
This self-study course will help you reflect on what you're going through, and understand it more completely.
Working through specific steps, with guiding questions to really dig deep, can get you to answers faster than just thinking it through alone.
When you're not ready to work with a professional, one-to-one, starting on your own with support can make an immense difference.
This course includes a carefully thought through series of prompts to help you dig deep and really consider things from all sides, so you know you're making sound, well-thought-out decisions.
The prompts are designed to help you organize your thoughts, reflect carefully on memories, and visualize your future - the way YOU see it, remember it, and want to live it.
Prompts are rolled out weekly, over 6 weeks, along with additional resources to support each set. You can work at your own pace, review, revise, add, expand, go deeper throughout the process.
You can work online, in a safe, secure, private space, or even print out each week's reflections to work offline if you prefer.
Course curriculum
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01
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Welcome. Here's why I created this course...
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How to get the most from this course.
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02
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1. Where are you at right NOW? (Reflections)
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03
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Be Honest With Yourself About Your Pain (Reflections)
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04
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How often are you experiencing anxiety or fear? (Reflections)
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10 Nasty Ways Hijackals are Predictably Unpredictable (Video)
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ANGER & ANXIETY, HIJACKALS & YOU: Understand What's Happening (Video)
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05
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Wondering if it's Abuse? (eBook)
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How to know if you're in a toxic relationship (Video)
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4 Debilitating Responses to Emotional Abuse (Video)
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06
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Take the checklist.
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Reflections on Toxic Relationship Checklist - Part 1
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Reflections on Toxic Relationship Checklist - Part 2
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Reflections on Toxic Relationship Checklist - Part 3
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Reflections on Toxic Relationship Checklist
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07
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The Whole Picture of my current relationship (Reflections)
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Where did I learn to accept emotional abuse? (Reflections)
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Maybe some of this will resonate... (Video)
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08
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What rights do I accord myself? (Reflections)
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Standing up for your rights (Video)
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Do I deeply believe that I deserve to be treated as an equal? (Reflections)
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09
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You can give yourself freedom. Start here. (Reflections)
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Learning to say "no" (Video)
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Rebuilding your self-esteem (Video)
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Do you have more clarity now?
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Who am I and what do I know about this?
Dr. Rhoberta Shaler was a champion for the partners, exes, and adult children of the relentlessly difficult, toxic people she called Hijackals®—to save their sanity and stop the crazy-making. She created the term so we'd have a way to talk about the patterns, traits, and cycles of relentlessly difficult people without psychological labels. She defined Hijackals as “people who hijack relationships--for their own purposes--while relentlessly scavenging them for power, status, and control.”
Why?
Because she had been there, too. Dr. Shaler had a Hijackal mother and a passive-aggressive father. As happens for most people who start that way, she became a Hijackal magnet. Oh, the pain, disappointment and... learning!!! Love-bombed by men who turned out to be looking for control, bosses who thought they could manipulate and manage in damaging ways, and even friends willing to take advantage, she experienced them all. Not good.
Through all that learning, she found a path that allowed her to reclaim her power from people like that; to see them from a distance before becoming engaged with them. It was a long road, and a lot of people... but what she learned, and the strategies she developed for herself, kept her sane, safe and sure it wouldn't happen again!
The upside of coming from Hijackals was that she was driven to get away and to understand. Trained as a psychologist and mediator, Dr. Shaler turned her attention to figuring out why there had been no help when she needed it, and what that help could have looked like to be effective. Understanding the sneaky nature of emotional abuse led her to a Ph.D. and ongoing work and research into the ways that emotional trauma impacts both the Hijackal and their prey.
Rhoberta made it her mission to help people recognize the signs of emotional abuse, realize the impact on their lives, and have the paths to recovery. She shared that with clients and members worldwide. Dr. Shaler left this mortal plane in April 2024, knowing she had fulfilled her mission, and now, we continue to spread her mission.
This course catalogue was started by Dr. Shaler and continues to be available as a legacy of learning, managed and maintained by her daughter and career-long business manager, Kera.
